I hope you had an amazing Thanksgiving. And as we move toward the Christmas holiday (in a few months), I know if you’re a single parent like me, you’ll look around you and begin to feel like you’re missing something. Let’s face it! This time of year can be hectic. We have to raise our kids, provide for them, pay bills, take care of ourselves, meet with family, shop, COOK, etc!
Yes, the holidays can be stressful. And usually, we single moms think, “If I only had a Boaz, life would be better.” I say in response to that thought, “But, look at all the women who do.” Those men are not in the kitchen cooking, hun. Yeah, so, woman up. You have to brave the holidays so, here are my 7 BOSS single mom tips for you to have a great holiday (with or without a Bae).
Remember Why You Celebrate the Holiday
Whenever you feel like the stress and pressure is too much, breathe. Just breathe. Then, remember the reason for the season. It’s your love, hope, joy, peace, family, and faith. To be single is not the end of the world. Shift your focus to what you are truly grateful for then YOU will change even if your relationship status doesn’t. When your energy, attitude, and demeanor are in the right place, you’ll attract the love you seek. So, what’s your reason?
Do Less
Much of our stress comes from us. Or should I say, from our inability to say no? Yes, it’s true. We have the expectations, the dreams of perfection, and when it doesn’t pan out as we wanted, we stress. Listen, do less. Decide to do less the holiday season and just soak in the family time. When was the last time you stopped to play a game with your kids? When was the last time they said, “Come play” and you came? Give yourself permission to do less. You will open up your heart to a whole new level of love you never knew existed. Your kids will thank you for it. Plan no what you can delegate. Families are supposed to support each other. Ask for help. You’ll be glad you did!
Plan Everything
Omg! If you will process how simple and life-saving this is, it will bless you. Plan what you want to do. And do only that! No extra surprises. No extra help people here since you have time. Nada! Build-in time for you and your babies to enjoy this holiday. Plan what you need so there is no last-minute stress. Now, this is real life so stuff will come up, but remember, you don’t have to be the problem solver. Plan for what you want, and you’ll get it every time. Of all my holiday tips, this may seem commonsensical but it is effective and convenient.
Take Breaks
This life is not for the faint at heart. But, it’s also not one most of us choose. So, give yourself grace. Breathe in this holiday, smell the snow and the cold, and smile more. You have to make the most of the life you have. To stay as balanced as possible, take breaks. I don’t mean coffee breaks. I mean “mommy breaks.” The kind where you and the girls get out for a cool dinner or happy hour. Or, you hang out at the local cafe sipping hot cocoa and reading your favorite book. You just might meet Boaz. I’m just saying! Do more of what makes you happy!
Laugh A Lot
I like to think I have a great sense of humor. I also have a crazy one, but my boys get it and we crack up together laughing sometimes at each other. Lol! But that takes a seemingly difficult situation to many and turns it into a real family one that gets each other’s quirks and loves them anyway. That’s what you’re building … a family. So, stop stressing and laugh more. Play more. Live more!
Enjoy Yourself This Holiday.
Listen, Linda (I’m retiring it in 2017. Hopefully), I need you to love your life. I mean freaking LOVE IT! After all, it’s the only one you’ve got. So, put some thought into how you’re going to do that. Decide to not blow up when crap happens. Decide to skip and sing carols when things don’t go your way. Yes, others may think you’re crazy, but we don’t care. Enjoy your life. Let your babies see you living this holiday.
Control Your Behavior
I know this isn’t every family, but it’s a common theme we hear around this time of year. Some folks love drama. My family has even tried it a few years back, but Kaywanda doesn’t play. So, when the family starts to act up or that certain family member (Ahem! the black sheep) starts drama, you do not have to engage. I know. Strange thought. You don’t have to let that negative energy throw you off. Instead, say like Oprah Winfrey’s character in The Color Purple, “I’m home now. Pass me den peas.”
Yes, go get another plate of food, leave the room, act like you didn’t hear their foolishness, or take this as the perfect time to go visit old friends. I love going home. Lol! And I love coming back to my own. You do not have to engage the foolishness aka family drama. If you’re not able to escape, go to a different part of the house or pretend you’re playing with the kids. You can even use my getaway phrase, “Girl, let me check on these kids.” And just never go back. 🙂 I’m being facetious and I’m also very serious. Protect your space, privacy, sanity, and peace of mind.
Not going home?
Then enjoy your holiday with just you and your babies. Focus on making memories. Not so much focus that you make it boring and annoying trying to be perfect. But, let the moments happen and be present in them. Our kiddos look forward to these times. With the daily stresses of school and life for them compiled with our busy lives to make it happen, we all need time to decompress. Show them what family is even if it has only one leader. You’re shero honey! And your babies love you for it. Make the life you want with what you have.
I hope you enjoyed these 7 boss holiday tips for single moms and that you’re encouraged and ready for the holidays! What would you add? Did I miss a step? Let me know in the comments how you’ll be enjoying this holiday season.
Kaywanda Lamb is The Single Mom Coach. Through her knowledge and hard-won experience, she coaches single moms into the life they want and love. Often called a clarity catalyst, Kaywanda uses biblically-based teaching to instruct new and seasoned moms to show up in their homes and parents like Rock Stars. She is excited to be releasing her second book, Parent, Thrives, Win! a devotional for single moms and dads. For more information, click here.
