I read a blog post on one of my favorite sites: BlackandMarriedwithKids.com Love them! They are fabulous. In this post, the writer interviewed several Christian men from age 30-55 about why they do not date or marry christian women. Welp! [Sigh] Here is my response to that. My open letter to worldly Christian men giving Christian women a bad name.

You can read the original post here.

My Rebuttal

The writer interviewed gentleman ages 30-55 as I said above, and she came up with 12 points that stood out (My eyes are rolling, but pay me no never mind) from their responses. Listen, I love that men are calling themselves Christians. I love that some are. I even love that they state they are on a journey and sometimes the woman (most times) is more spiritually mature than they are. But, I don’t like the long line of negatives these guys put out their about us amazing Christian women who love our Heavenly Father and because of that aren’t pushovers. Yes, that’s the unspoken, underlying commentary I kept hearing: she’s not easy, she doesn’t submit to me, I have to work for her favor, she doesn’t bow to my every whim. Blah, blah, blah!

Hello! “I’m not your wife! I’m your girlfriend,” I hear the women shouting that dated these … men. Fellas, man up.

Because we know our faith and in Whom we trust, no we are not lying down and acting desperate for a man. Can we improve? Yes. Could the guy be a little more understanding of our reasons for having a standard, being timid, shy, serving, etc? Yes!

What The Christian Men Should Have Said

As I kept turning the pages on the article, I was waiting for something more, something … less harsh. Or, something useful. We’ve heard these things said about us for years. And it’s harmful. I would like to see Christian men take the lead in dating Christian women the way God has called them to do. Instead of wanting to us to act like someone who does not share the faith, show us what a great man you are and why we should want to do life with you. After all, dating is about marriage. Or, are you looking to just date? Code for sleep with and do as you please until you magically meet the one who won’t be any of the ladies from before? Hmm.

Men tout this kind of stuff in the barber shops and laugh at how “deep” we can get. But my question is “If you’re a Christian man, why aren’t you equally as deep?” God has called men to lead their homes. In fact, he has called you to be the priests of your home. Well, guess what? We don’t let non-priests guide us. At the end of all the name-calling and reputation bashing, the men asked for us to be patient with them. LOL!!! What!? Are these the same guys who called us sanctimonious? Hmm.

As a single mom, I have to be very choosy about who I let lead me and my children. So, maybe she has good reason for not letting her guard down so soon. Maybe you are a little impatient, sir. Maybe you don’t deserve her honor, loyalty, or favor. Because the same God you say you serve has a whole chapter on the way we are to carry ourselves. Proverbs 31 … have you read it?

In short, be honest about what you want from a woman and where you are in your walk. If you’re a new Christian who just left the world and got saved, maybe dating shouldn’t be something you do right now. If you read your word, God has called us both to behave a certain way. Take some time to get to know your proper protocol and then maybe some Christian women wouldn’t mind dating you a little bit longer or coming over to your side of things. But make no mistake, we will never be the girls you’re accustomed to, because God has called you and me higher. Are you listening to the call?

I would love to go into every point, but trust me you want to see my face as I discuss these poll responses.  I went into detail about each point of this article on Periscope. Check it out here. Please check it out!

Trust me! I could say more, but I want you to watch my eyes actually roll back in my head and me beg to lie on the floor and someone pick me up. I love you fellas. But, don’t expect me or any Christian women to be like any woman you’ve met before. Just as you want a chance, we also deserve one. Our hearts, love, loyalty, and favor combined with our gifts will truly rock your world, build wealth, and bless you in every aspect of your life. But you have to be man enough to work for it, to see its value, and be willing to pay for it like Jacob. He worked 14 years for the woman he loved and wanted. No kiss, no understanding, nada. But, y’ll quit after 4 dates.


18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.

After you watch the scope, tell me what you think in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you! Men, we want to hear from you, too! Chime in!


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