Today, I listened to a friend. She droned on about how she has had enough. She talked about what her husband said and what he in effect has been doing to her for over 20 years- mistreat her and waster her time. Now, I know some may say I am being short, abrupt even by summing up her relationship.
My answer: No, I am telling a friend that I love, whose side I have been by for years, that her man does not and has never “loved” her. And sadly, it is in her best interest to cut him loose. For years, I did what I saw my family members do in situations like hers- I encouraged her to love him anyway. You know the usual- work hard and pray and hold on because her love would change him. I stopped saying those well-meaning, uplifting, cliché comments when I realized he was just wrong for her.
You see, none of us can do the work on the inside of another person. They have to be willing to do the work for themselves. He is bitter, verbally and mentally abusive, mean-spirited, complaining, cheap, sneaky, disrespectful. And she is the opposite of all that. She is loving, smart, giving, beautiful (although he never says so), kind, God-fearing, shy, scared to be alone, afraid to try again. Did you catch that? Exactly. She wants to move but can’t. His lies have kept her for so long that she wonders if she can really be happy without him. If she can really do it alone. She can. She will. She must. Her sanity depends on it.
If you are like my friend, please evaluate your situation, try counseling, talk with your spouse or loved one (of course), and in the end, if they still do not value you and continue to mistreat you, please be willing to launch yourself into the unknown. I promise it seems scary, but you will find that peace in your new place is so much better than sorrow in your old.
What am I saying? Wrong anything is a waste of time. Wrong jobs will make us unhappy, tired, stressed. Those are indicators that something is wrong. Wrong people in our lives drain us, don’t encourage us, add to or inspire us. Worse, they may put us down or mistreat us. We owe it to ourselves to let them go. Pray for them, try to get them help, but let them GO. Again, wrong anything is a waste of time.
Watch out for the time stealers/wasters in your life and then be willing to let them go. You have a purpose to accomplish and at the end of the day, they came only to detain you.
If it’s hard to let go? Do It Anyway.
