Mindset Shifts to Love Yourself Again

I always get complimented on how cool I am under pressure. For years, people have commented on how well behaved my boys are and how I’m doing well to be a single mom. I must admit my first 3 years were NOT like that. Mama, I had to change my mindset and shift my life. Read on to find out how I did it and how you can, too. Becoming a single mom does a number on your psyche. It just does. On one hand, you’re trying to be brave and run a household, your life, everyone else’s … and on the other, you’re falling apart on the inside. I call it “healing and dealing.” So, how do you go from a hot mess to in control? Easy. You must choose to. Read my 5 ways to shift your mindset and change your life as a single mom.

Step 1: Face Reality to Create the Right Mindset

Hiding seems like a strategy. It is not. What really helps you shift and change your life for the better and sooner is putting things into a proper perspective. So, to illustrate my point, let me tell you a story. I was still “in love” with my kids’ dad I’d say about a good 1-1.5 years after we broke up. In some form or fashion, I was STILL holding on trying to make a mess matter.

So, I made allowances for him hoping he’d be there for his kids and hoping somehow I could forgive the big gulf of crapola between us and have a family. (Ask how glad I am NONE of that happened and why was I the only one trying. Okay. Save that for another day). The point is I wasn’t facing reality. I can dream all I want about somebody being good to me, or I can watch the fruit. Watch the fruit, sis. Then behave accordingly.

Step 2: Build a Faithful Mindset

It’s in times like these I’m so glad I have my faith. God brought me a mighty long way, and I share that love and forgiveness as often as I can. So, how are you building your faith? I have the utmost respect for all mothers, but I know this “no help” thing has given me a new appreciation for my tribe. Are you seeking God? Do you journal your thoughts? Are you watching what you say and believe? Are you working on you? By the way, I wrote an amazing 31-day devotional that includes space to journal to help you through just about every issue you’ll face as a single mom. You can get it here.

Step 3: Get Empowered

I have a mindset where I tell women once they get mad enough to win their lives will change. As I look back it was that tenacity that caused me to make it. Find your fire mama. I started to read more and attend events when I shifted to believing in me. You must do the same. Whatever it takes, pour into you and build you up.  Your babies need a strong leader and God picked you for the job. Rise up!

Step 4: Take Back Your Power

For a while, I believed the lies about me being used goods and no man would want a woman with kids. You better know that is not true. No matter what you’ve been told, you deserve to be happy, healthy, whole, and healed.™️ That’s my mindset and it is what I had to focus on to take my power back.

Step 5: Get Mad Enough to WIN

There will be no winning without two sides going against each other. In this case, it could be you and your ex, but I’m really speaking to you and your beliefs about what you can do on your own as the leader of your family. Are you tired of losing and are you mad enough to win? This new way of life as a single mom requires focus, love, discipline, etc. How bad do you want to shift and succeed?

I tell people that ask me how I do it all that I had to remove the people and things taking up space in my life, clogging my free time to make room for what matters. You have to go on your journey toward healing and achieving your new goals to figure out what stays and what goes. Make these mindset shifts, and you’ll be UNSTOPPABLE. What do you think of these? Would you add anything else? Need more strategy?

Grab my Get Your Life Together Guide aka “Do It Anyway! The Single Mom’s Guide to Living Life and Achieving Her Goals.” This book has the 12 steps I followed to take my life back, find my purpose, heal from the hurt, chase my dreams and so much more. I tell you step by step and give you room to journal and implement along the way. Woo! Get ready to SHIFT!